Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Snip, Snip

These two little words can mean many things: i.e. coupon collecting, a haircut, assurance that one can no longer have children (all of these will be applied to our lives sometime in the not-too-distant future)... But this week the sound of snipping is the cutting of apron strings. My little baby boy has started school. Sigh.

I know, I know, it was bound to happen. But I think I struggled with it a little more than usual. Sam just turned 4, and yesterday was his first day in Pre-kindergarten. Now, preschool is one thing, but this is all day, every day, in the DC public school system! Do you see why I'm having feelings of guilt/anxiety/sadness/fear?

If that in itself is not self-explanatory enough, I can elaborate. So many horrible things could happen at school. He could get ignored. He could get sick. He could feel rejected by me. He could choke on the grapes I packed in his lunch. He could get in trouble with the teacher and hold a grudge against organized education for the rest of his childhood. Shall I go on?

OK, I know these things are the crazy, normally unspoken (and probably better off left that way) thoughts of a stay-at home mom sending her first son to school. I have to admit, though, that each of these scenarios crossed my mind in the past 72 hours. And then I laughed at myself.

Yesterday was his first day, and it was great. There has been so much anticipation of Pre-K that Sam has been talking about it all summer. When he woke up yesterday and I told him that today was his first day, he just lit up and simply said, "really?" The whole family made the trip to school, and although the drop-off scene was pretty chaotic (picture 20 families trying to check in, drop off the things from their school supply lists, keep track of their nervous pre-k-er, and hold it together themselves), he was in his element. In fact, I found that I was the one with a lump in my throat, which I bravely gulped down as I smiled and hugged him goodbye.

Happily, he had a great day, and this morning as he was getting dressed he said, "I LOVE school!" (Lets hope that lasts for the next 12-16 years. :) Not only that, but wow, am I amazed at how quiet my days are. I get so much done! So now, instead of just feeling sad and worried, I waffle between that and relishing in the gift of time and space I've been given. I'm really relishing, too, because come December, life will bring it's new twists and blessings.

1 comment:

Corey Godzwa said...

WAY TO GO MOM!!! It's a huge accomplishment sending them to school!!! Ah, the emotions!! Tell Sam his uncle Tony and Aunt Corey are very proud of him and we love him very much!! Whatever will you do, Jen, with all your free time?? (free time? What is that anyway!!??)
We love you guys!!!